Ranger Six

This is an adaptation of a scene from my current NaNoWriMo project, In The Shadow of Magic. President Roosevelt is not actually in the novel, I just wanted to throw him in for fun. Good luck fellow WriMo’s.

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“You were in fact not shot, and there were no bullet holes found in the barn,” the district attorney leaned in close to the witness and prepared to deliver his killing blow. “And you have the gall to testify, under oath, that Mr. Levi Holt is dead, by your hand, because he made a mistake?”

“No sir, that would be crazy,” said Jethro Stern. “He’s dead because he made two mistakes.”
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Nefertiti Express

Jacob took a long slow pull on his cigar before taking a sip of brandy. He stared out his office window at the giant steam engine outside. It hardly seemed possible that this would be its last run. He turned from the window as his business partner entered the office.

“I’ve some news you will undoubtedly find interesting,” His business partner grinned from ear to ear. “We may be able to keep the trains running after all.”

Jacob rubbed his temples as he turned back toward the window.

“I’ve run the numbers a hundred times, James, but the fact remains, with the war in full swing coal is simply too expensive.” Smoke and steam billowed from the Grey Ghost as it waited for its passengers to load. “She’s beautiful and it pains me greatly to see her fire extinguished forever. I’m sure there will be no shortage of buyers. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if the army itself was interested in her. She’d get the boys deployed in short order.”

“Jacob, what would you say if I told you there may be a chance you could keep the Ghost and remain profitable? In fact you may even make a killing.” James chuckled at his own joke.
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Billy McGee’s Tall Tale

It’s a foggy night. I know, lame, right? I only mention it because it’s a particularly dense fog. The street I’m on has only two lights, adding to the ominous feeling that someone is behind me. There are no foot steps, but I hear a sort of odd breathing. A noisy breath in…pause…loud breath out, over and over. I decide to slow down. I want to know if whatever is behind me in the fog, is trying to catch me or stay well behind. The noisy breathing sounds get closer and closer.

Right about now, you’re wondering if this is the set up for the twist ending. Is the hunted really the hunter? Is this a red herring to throw you off the trail? Nah, it’s legit. I mean, I am a ritualistic killer. Except my victims are usually bottles of scotch. Sometimes, if I’m desperate to feel life slipping through my fingers, I may attack a bottle of vodka. There was one hedonistic night involving tequila, but it’s so gruesome I can’t bring myself to talk about it. Nope, it’s not me doing the hunting this night.
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Wizard’s Last Hope

I grasped my thumb and pulled. It separated at the knuckle with ease.

“Wow!” said Emily with eyes as big as saucers. “That’s brilliant! How’d you do that?”

“It’s simple, watch.” I turned my arm so my palm was facing her then bent my thumb back.

“Now, take your other hand and put your index finger over your other thumb like this. Now when you put them together it looks like a normal thumb. See.”

“You’re so good at tricks. Do you have another one?”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my lucky coin.

“OK. Now you see it. Abra-ca-dabra! Now you don’t.” The coin disappeared from my hand.

“Bring it back now,” she said giggling.

“Right, let’s see. Abra-ca-dabra!” I flourished my hands and nothing happened. I feigned surprise. “Huh, where could it have gone? It should have worked, I don’t under….” I reached behind the young girl’s ear and pulled back my hand to reveal the coin.

“Amazing!” She clapped and bounced up and down. It was darling. “Can you show me more tricks Master Johan?”

“In due time little one, in due time. For now though what do you say we go and get something to eat and I’ll teach you how to make the cook’s food disappear.”

She pouted and crossed her arms in mock defiance.

“Please, I remember the rules. I won’t tell anyone the secrets, I promise. I’ll do extra chores. Please?”

“Alright fine, but I really am hungry and if we don’t get downstairs soon, Cook will toss out the leftovers, then we’ll both be starved,” I said with pretend anger. “I’ll show you in the kitchen.”

We started down the hall to the stairs when I heard a most terrible noise.

“Emily, go into my study and shut the door. Do it now and don’t open it for any reason. No matter what you hear don’t open the door. I’ll come get you when it’s safe.”

She stood there staring at me in shock and disbelief.

“Run, Now!” I waited until she was inside and the door was shut before running to the main foyer.

The Queen and her man-at-arms stood waiting. They were obviously concerned.

“Master Johan, where is Emily?” the Queen asked.

“In my study. I’m the only one who can open the doors without being reduced to a pile of basic elements.”

“Are you sure?” asked Martin. “I would have bet a year’s wage that the enemy couldn’t have gotten this far and now look. Is your magic what it was?”

“My magic may be in question, but I assure you the study is safe. The wards on that room were placed there centuries ago by the first wizards. In fact my queen, I recommend you adjourn there now yourself. Martin and I can handle things.”

Martin grunted his approval and began to lead our queen upstairs to my study. With the queen and princess safely locked inside Martin turned to me.

“Are you sure of this?”

“Quite. Once Callahan gets here we will surrender the castle to him. I have made arrangements for Emily to live.”

“What of the queen?”

“She will be publicly disgraced and executed as planned. And what of you, are you prepared?”

Martin’s look was one of grim determination.

“I am prepared to die in defense of my queen, if that’s what you mean.” Martin unsheathed his sword and placed it across his chest in salute. “Our families have served this house for two hundred years. I know what must be done. I know righteous vengeance must be felt in the blood of the royal line so we may once again wield the old magic our families once governed. It doesn’t mean I have to like it though. So yes my brother, I am ready to die tonight.”

I clasped Martin’s hand. It seemed an inadequate gesture but it was all we had. The banging began at the front gate.

“Here they come,” said Martin.

The front doors exploded open with the unnatural force of a fetid wind. It blew up the stairs and struck us as if it were a fist. The enemy’s first battalion flooded the hall and charged toward us. Heads exploded as I cast the first volley of spells. Martin charged the remaining horde. He dispatched several of the attackers before falling in battle.

“Enough!” Callahan’s voice bellowed from below. “The wizard lives.” He ogled the castle interior taking inventory as he approached.

“Open the doors wizard and you and the wee girl live. You have ten seconds.”

I had to play it close.

“It will take longer than that, Callahan. You’ve won. I should think a few more minutes wouldn’t kill you.”

I felt my skin part as Callahan’s knife sliced across my cheek.

“Shut your mouth!” He was mere inches from my face. His spittle pelted me as he talked through clenched teeth. “Open the door now or die where you stand. The queen dies out here or in there from starvation. I don’t care, but if you want the little girl to live you’ll open the door now!”

I opened the door to my study for the last time. The queen stood with Emily behind her.

“My queen, I have failed you. Emily will be safe. Callahan has agreed to let me take her in exile.”

“It’s good to show a conquered people some compassion,” said Callahan. “After all, they will soon see their queen hung, drawn and quartered.”

“Master Johan, you have done well. Protect her with your life.” The queen brought the princess from behind her dress and pushed her towards me. “I love you Emily”

“I’ll see you dead before I’m twenty.” Emily stared at Callahan as his smile slowly faded. Vengeance boiled deep within the girl’s blood. I could feel ancient magic awaken in me. Callahan screamed and threw himself at her. I grabbed her young arm and with a loud pop the two of us disappeared from the castle.

The Hunted

I run. The hounds are coming. I can hear them. Hunting. Their feet churn the ground. Nostrils flared to catch my scent. Baying, they come. Snarling, gnashing and blood thirsty, they come.

I flee. And yet they come. I’ve done no wrong. Panic. Why do they chase when all I want is to flee. I’ve done no wrong. Taken no babes. Tasted no blood and yet they come. They have no cause. They have their hate.

I hide. Burying myself underground. I smell the earth. Heady. It smothers me. Damp and oppressive. It shields me from them. Heavy, it envelops me. Gritty, pungent and elemental, it envelops me.

They hunt. I hear them now. Men on horses. Shouting. Their weapons sharp and ready. Ready to strike me dead. Stopped above me. Confused, focused and looking to the hounds for help, and still they come. They know to dig.

They find me. They pull me up. Hold me down. Celebrating. The hounds rip and tear at my flesh. They laugh. I scream. Weapons unsheathed. They look to one another for support. They find me; Weak.

I fight. Roar in primal rage. The price they pay for their hate. Destroyer! I rip the hounds apart. Clawing, I smell the blood. They know not what they have done. I care not what I’ve become. Continued existence my only thought. The men scream. They fall one by one by my feat. I feel their blood flow around my teeth. It’s done.

I run. Run in the night. I run for my life; run for theirs.

I Was A Teenage Romeo

Every year the eighth grade put on a play and every year the whole class looked forward to it. I mean this was the big time. Real theater. Dress rehearsals, after school practices, set design the whole shebang. I remember the auditions. I walked in full of confidence and left looking at my shoes. I thought I totally blew it. My voice cracked twice and I had to read from the script the entire time. I think it was the second longest night of my life. Our teacher posted the casting list on the bulletin board the next day and wouldn’t you know it, I was cast as the lead.

I still remember the first time I tried on my costume. I thought it made my breasts look huge. Which sucks if you’re a twelve year old boy. To make matters worse, Maryanne Kempler, the prettiest girl in class, announced she was moving to California. This was a particular kick in the pants as she was the Juliet to my Romeo.

I sat in the lunch room eating a burger looking at my tits and feeling sorry for myself when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Can I sit here?” Donna didn’t wait for me to answer before taking the seat next to me. She smelled like ranch dressing.

“I’m going to play Juliet. We should get together and practice sometime. How about recess?”

I had to make a conscious effort to close my mouth. When she smiled it caused her nose to wrinkle. She stood up and giggled her way back to her friends. I don’t remember much of those recesses. My memory is flashes of forgetting my lines and laughing way to hard about absolutely nothing. The only thing that still stands out is Donna.

We practiced our parts together at recess and dress rehearsals. For me it was, “bla, bla, bla, good night, good night, yadda, yadda, parting… sweet sorrow” then, much to my chagrin, the director would remind me specifically, that we weren’t actually going to kiss. Jerk.

I spent the afternoon before the play trying to stretch my costume so I didn’t look like a fully developed young lady and convincing myself that I really didn’t want to kiss Donna. It didn’t work.

Opening night finally was upon us. The air backstage was electric. We were all excited and nervous as hell at the same time. The boys punched each other and joked loudly while the girls studiously practiced their lines. I made clandestine efforts to flatten my boy boobies one more time. It didn’t work.

The curtain went up and we were on. It went OK. For me it was, “bla, bla, bla, good night, good night, yadda, yadda, parting… sweet sorrow” then, much to my amazement Donna kissed me. I tried to pretend it was nothing, like girls kissed me all the time. Against all odds, I was able to finish the play. I think that was the longest night of my life.

My father took a job out of state that summer. Donna and I tried to keep in touch, but time and distance were too much for our freshman love and we agreed to go our separate ways. For years I labored under the delusion that our paths would cross again. My senior year I kissed Tara Tucker under the bleachers. Then again in my car. Then again and again. Donna’s spell was finally broken and the wonderful world of dating was now open. I had plenty of time to find the love of my life. Maybe it wouldn’t be Tara, or Donna. There was even a weird time in college when I thought it might be Steve. But throughout it all one thing remains constant, I still love ranch dressing.

Duce In The Machine

I’m making good time; flying down route nine like the hounds of hell are chasing me. It’s been miles since I’ve seen a house or store or anything but trees when the engine starts rebelling. A terrible metal on metal symphony tells me the engine is dead. I’m still about a hundred miles from the airport. If I’m late my girl friend flies to Paris and out of my life, probably for good. Why did I have to be such an ass. I should have known better than to Facebook an apology. The six pack of Guinness must have clouded my judgment. She took my post as a slam and said goodbye.

There’s 100 miles stopping me from telling her how sorry I am and asking her to marry me. An act of desperation I can live with. Assuming I can get there in the next four hours. It would have been plenty of time if not for the damn car. The engagement ring in my pocket sticks into my leg like an annoying little brother, poking at me, reminding me I’m stranded in the middle of nowhere. I put the car in neutral and start pushing. A small town comes into view as I round a corner. It’s slightly uphill but love has a way of giving you a little extra strength when you need it. The tires crunch gravel as I roll into the garage. A young man ambles over. He pulls a toothpick from his lips and flashes a friendly smile.

“Out of gas?” he asks.

“No, the engine died. It sounded pretty bad. Can you take a look?”

“Yeah, sure,” he says as he extends his hand. “Name’s Dillon, but folks call me Duce, on account-a I can get most cars running again in a couple hours.”

“Well, that’s great Duce ‘cause I’m in a real hurry. I have to get to the airport before the love of my life leaves for Paris,” I say, hoping my story will cause him to take pity on me.

“Now that’s a challenge I’m up for. Help me push it inside and I’ll see what I can do.”

Together we push my old mustang into the garage. I pop the hood and we both peer inside. I have no idea what I’m looking at but Duce grumbles and nods his head.

“I can fix it,” he says with plenty of confidence. “Let’s see if I can live up to my name. There’s a diner around the corner. They have great blueberry pie.”

He’s right, the pie is amazing. It makes me feel guilty enjoying it though when I should be heading to the airport. I tell myself there’s nothing I can do. My fate, our fate, is in the hands of Duce. I try to pass the remaining time by reading the local paper but it’s no use. The clock is ticking and I need to be on the road. I decide to head back and check on the progress. I round the corner and see Duce elbow deep in the machine. Before I can ask he slams the hood shut.

“Just in time,” he says.

He steps to the driver’s side and slides behind the wheel. The engine roars to life sounding better than the day I bought it.

“Duce, you are a god.” I say as I reach for my wallet. “What do I owe you?”

“Oh, let’s call it two hundred.”

I hand over my credit card and follow him into the office. He runs it and hands it back. I pull out a fifty to tip him for his help.

“I can’t thank you enough. If I leave now I can still make it.”

With a face splitting grin I jump behind the wheel, turn the key and shift it into gear. I smash the pedal to the floor and the engine races. It takes a second to realize I’m not moving. I frantically shift in and out of gear again. Still nothing. My transmission is gone. Duce is still in his office. He doesn’t know. I jump out of the car and race back in.

“Duce, the transmission isn’t working, I need you!”

“No, man. You need a miracle.”

The Warden

“Lemme telly ya buddy, girls like Claire don’t usually hook up with the likes of me. I’m not what you would call ‘boyfriend material’; I’m more a means to an end. Now, I can usually tell if a chick wants my help or wants my company but sometimes even I misread the signs.

See, it’s hard to say no to a perfect 10 pleading for help. Especially if that perfect 10 is a friggin witch. Bet you didn’t know that half their magic ain’t even magic at all, it’s just straight up seduction, man. Feminine wiles, ya know? They stand real close, so close you can smell the salty tang of their skin and feel the heat pulsating off them. And they breath in your ear. I’m a sucker for that ear thing. Man, they drip sex from every pore. Hell, lots of things get hard when they do that. Especially if you’re like me.

How’s that beer? Barkeep! Another beer for my friend here, por favor.

Anyway, back to the shotguns and my pretty head. It all centered around her asshole ex-husband and some fancy ring. There’s always an ex-husband and he’s usually an asshole. In this case the ass du jour left Claire for a younger woman, and stole her family’s signet ring. I guess this thing has been passed down to the eldest daughters in her family for centuries. I tracked him and this damn ring all over the country. From Bar Harbor, Maine, where he left her, to a fancy-ass garden in Pasadena. I’m getting ahead of myself.

Hey gimme those beer nuts, man. Thanks.

Yeah so, Claire said she needed a ring and I was going to get her one. I bought a replacement to take her mind off her stolen one. I didn’t skimp on it either. It was pretty expensive, but I have connections. I guess the gesture meant a lot to her, ‘cause that night we made love. Yeow momma, tasting the salt on her skin was even better than smelling it. She said she still needed her particular ring and after that night nothing was going to stop me from getting it. She did this thing with her… never mind.

Like I was saying, I finally found him holed up in this fancy-shmancy hotel. I dug in for the usual extended stake out and surveillance, but Claire didn’t want to wait. She walks right into the lobby and uses her little witchy-hocus-pocus-sex-dripping-thingy to trick the desk clerk into giving us a key. I never even thought of tryin’ that. Probably ‘cause most guys aren’t interested in my drippy sex. Anyways, I could tell right away we weren’t the only ones after this guy. My first clue was that the door was wide open and the room was torn apart. Told ya I’m good.

More beer here!

So, right in the middle of all that mess is this big pile of ash. It looked to me like her ex-husband had burnt whatever those other dudes were after. So, Claire starts kicking the pile of ashes looking for God knows what. Then it hits me. Damn, that ain’t no pile of burnt paper, it’s the asshole. No shit, that’s what I said.”

Hey! I said beer me, pal. Thanks a-mundo.

We asked around town, me using some muscle and Clair using some more of them wiles of hers, and found out who came after him. Some old dude I never heard of. We found him in the botanical gardens a few days later.

I don’t know. Maybe he liked flowers or something. Hell, some people need to be around nature. It revitalizes them. Maybe it was that. How the hell should I know? Anyway that’s where he was when we found him. Never did catch his name but he had enough scratch to hire some really good body guards. I’m guessin ex-military. They got the drop on us, which is pretty embarrassing. So there we were, some old dude I never met is twenty feet away from me wearing the ring I vowed to get for the most beautiful woman ever to screw my brains out and two dickheads have shotguns pointed at me. Not my finest hour.

So I says to the old dude, “Sorry about the inconvenience, her asshole ex-husband stole it, bla, bla, bla, so if you just hand it over we’ll be happy to compensate you for your trouble.” Right?

So the creepy old dude pays no attention to me and looks right at Clair and says “I’m surprised you didn’t fill your new plaything in on the game.” He was mocking her. It pissed me right the fuck off. And so did Clair for that matter. I can’t believe I fell for the oldest trick in the book. Friggin witches.

So I figure screw this noise. I’m done playin nice. Bam! I start kickin ass. It wasn’t even a fair fight. The shotguns melted like soft wax and the two dickheads pointing them were just humans. Snap – snap. Done. The old guy was a different story though. Fortunately for me he hadn’t been wearing the ring long, so it only took a little mid-level magic to kill him. I used a nifty little vanquishing spell I picked up during the revolutionary war. I might keep Clair around for a while. You never know, having a witch around can be handy. This ring is pretty powerful too.

Hey buddy where you going? You gonna finish that beer? Ha, humans.”

Author’s Note: It’s getting closer to November and I need to explore some characters and I wanted to post some #fridayflash. So having only one stone to cast I decided to chuck it a two birds. Let me know if you like him, hate him or just don’t care about him. I haven’t named him yet. I’m open to suggestions. Thanks for reading.

Shot Of The Good Stuff

Sheriff Jones pushed through the batwings of the Dusty Rose Saloon and surveyed its hard edged patrons. A rag-tag group of miners, dried up gamblers, cowboys and townies. He hated every last one of them. He made sure to look hard at the ones who looked back, staring right at them until they turned away first. No better than dogs, they needed to know who the master was. Men didn’t come to the Dusty Rose for gambling or women or music, they came to drink and get drunk. As far as he was concerned the sooner he dealt with this lot the better. He sidled up to the bar and slapped his palm on the ring stained wood.

“Whiskey,” he said. “And you better not give me the watered down version, Vergil, or you’ll be thinking about your business practices overnight in the hooscow.”

A couple men chuckled, but Vergil the bar tender wasn’t one of them. He poured the good stuff into a somewhat clean glass and slammed it down hard in front of the sheriff.

“Drinks ain’t free sheriff.”

The sheriff eyed Vergil for several seconds before reaching into his pocket. He slid a coin across the bar keeping his finger on it so Vergil couldn’t pick it up.

“I’m enforcing a new law. As of now Sundays are dry. Since you don’t serve food I want the doors to this place closed.” The sheriff smirked at Vergil and removed his finger from his coin before spinning on his seat to address the crowd that now leered at him.

“The town ain’t gonna go for it sheriff,” said Vergil.

“Tough. I’m sick of picking up your drunken asses seven days a week and I’m doubly sick of unexplained deaths. I need a day to rest and besides, I thought you’d appreciate it, what with the whiskey almost gone.”

Vergil eyed the sheriff suspiciously. “Ain’t no problems with my whisky supply, sheriff.”

“You say so Verg. But that don’t change the way Sunday is going to play out.”

The sheriff turned back to the bar and finished off his whiskey, smiled knowingly at Vergil then left the saloon. He had just opened the ball. Now he had to see if Vergil would dance.

Deputy Murphy was waiting outside the jail house.

“Did they bite?” he asked.

The sheriff shook his head at the bad pun. “There good and riled up if that’s you’re asking.”
“What do you think is gonna happen?” asked Murphy.

“I think there’s gonna be a hell of a lot of pissed off hombres ‘round here. So if I was you I’d stop wasting time and start making room in the jail.”

Murphy got up and slunk into the jail house. The sheriff followed.

“Murph,” he said as he fell into his desk chair. “Truth is I don’t think this is gonna simmer till Sunday. My guess is ole Vergil has someone belly down on a roof somewhere just waiting for me to walk on by.”

“How you want to play it?” Murphy asked. Hoping his nervousness didn’t show through.

“I reckon I’m gonna walk down the street and spring the trap.”

“That’s crazy, there’s got to be another-“

“There ain’t!” The sheriff stood up and walked to a locked room next to the cells. He took a key from around his neck, unlocked the door and motioned for Murphy to follow him in.

“Look Murph, I’m counting on you here. There are still some good people in this town. People that deserve saving. If I didn’t believe that with all my heart, you and I would saddle up and ride like hell wouldn’t have it. I know its suicide, but it’s the only way to give you a shot at Vergil.”

“We could set a trap of our own, here. Look around. We have enough holy water and silver here to stop a horde twice as big.”

“I appreciate what you’re doing here, but if we don’t cut the snake off at the head…” The sheriff handed his deputy two gun belts before buckling on his own.

“After they cut down on me the pressure will be off. There ain’t no way Vergil thinks you have the sand to go head to head with the likes of him.”

“Maybe I don’t have the sand,” said Murphy. He couldn’t look his friend in the eye.

“None of us has the balls to go up alone against one of them and they know it. That, and the fact that you know there are still a hundred or so men, woman and children in this town who are no more than cattle to those monsters, gives me all the confidence I need to walk down that street.”

They stepped out of the jail house and watched the sun start to dip on the horizon. The sheriff’s head snapped back as if he were laughing at a joke. Murphy left him convulsing in the dust.

He ran toward the livery trying to draw off the shooter but no one shot back at him. He turned as he passed the Dusty Rose Saloon and crashed through its doors. Vergil looked up nonchalantly and smiled when he saw it was the deputy. He poured a glass of the good stuff.

“Well Deputy, or should I say sheriff, drinks are on the house.” He slid the glass across the bar then bent to retrieve a large stack of bills. He placed them next to the whiskey.

“Your cut sheriff, you sure you don’t want to add immortality to the list? It’s only right, considering the debt we owe you.”

Sheriff Murphy surveyed the hard edged patrons of the Dusty Rose Saloon. A rag-tag group of miners, dried up gamblers, cowboys, townies and vampires. He hated every last one of them. He pulled his twin colts and leveled them at Vergil.

“I’ll stick with the whiskey.”

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoyed today’s tale. I wanted to write something that commemorated the spirit of self-sacrifice that was demonstrated by first responders and airline passengers eight years ago. This week’s prompt from writeanything.wordpress.com: Your character is determined to do something they know to be a mistake, seemed to fit that sentiment well. Thanks for reading.

What evil have I wrought

I find that as summer beats a hasty retreat from the boondocks of Maine it has taken my energy and free time with it. Last week, two very amazing writers, @2maraA and @battypip bestowed upon me two pretty cool awards. To say I was touched and honored would be an understatement. So I won’t say it. I’ll instead say I was VERY touched and honored that writers of their caliber would think me worthy of such awards. I will be doing a post on each separate award hopefully this weekend. So for now I give a very heartfelt, albeit belated, thank you post.

On another topic, I haven’t been happy with the way comments worked on this blog. So I checked around and decided to go with Intense Debate. I want a way to reply to individuals directly via threaded comments. So far, so good. I guess the acid test will be this Friday after another round of #fridayflash. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment. *gasp*

Oh yeah, as if I didn’t have enough going on right now, I’ve decided to participate in NaNo this year, so I’m frantically outlining now too. Till Friday!

Take care fellow flashers.