Comments on: Last Aria

By: admin

admin — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:34:28 +0000

Thank you all for you wonderful comments. I honestly didn't expect as much positive feed back as was received. I totally agree with Tina and Annie in that I should have left James Bond out of it, but in the spirit of writeanything.com 's challenge I decided not to edit and post it as originally written. Annie I would like to thank you for practicing what you preach in your great article Giving Constructive Criticism. It's hard to criticize someone's work without coming across wrong and I appreciate that.

By: Annie

Annie — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:49:23 +0000

A well written piece using all of the senses to carry the reader easily through the prose. Your twists were excellently ‘executed’ and your pacing kept the reader interested and keen to continue.

I am going to be a stick in the mud here and say the last line literally killed it for me. Although I personally liked the idea of the beautiful woman taking revenge on a sleeze and the twist then to find that she was an agent on a hit of another agent; I think you cheapened your piece by naming him as a recognizable character. Moreover James Bond has some very staunch followers and if you are going to go down the line of fan-fiction – especially with well established characters such as Mr Bond, then some homework needs to be done. James Bond speaks a variety of languages fluently – including German, French, Japanese and Danish and although your line about him shaking his head and saying he didn’t speak French may have been a disengaging technique, the line beforehand was in congruent with James’s inner thoughts ( he thinking he was a hack – which is something that Mr Bond would never utter)
You can agree to disagree with me – but I think you’d have a stronger piece by leaving the 007 reference out.

I am utilizing FF to experiment with genres and styles with writing. This week I visit the world of Dr Suess and realised quickly why no-one else is able to emulate his wit and charm through prose. http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/08/lillylollylous-operatic-moment.html

By: J. M. Strother

J. M. Strother — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 01:32:42 +0000

Loved it. Did not see the demise of 007 coming at all. I figured the old lech was going to die of a heart attack. The end was a very enjoyable surprise. As others said, the tension and pacing were executed wonderfully.
~jon

By: Stephen Book

Stephen Book — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:04:12 +0000

I was totally into this piece, Chris. Like others, I was thinking: What a strange and bold move. Then, you slammed home the killing and put the right touch on the ending. Well done.

By: 2mara

2mara — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 16:02:33 +0000

I wasn’t really certain where this was going, but I think you did a great job with it.

My mind was playing out all sorts of senarios. I had my fingers crossed that this was some type of serial killer (I mean how many guys go to the opera alone?), and then I was hoping that the girl was a transvestite (Awkward).

Overall, I think your ending was perfect
Great story!
~2

By: April

April — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:42:48 +0000

I always wondered why Bond hadn’t gotten killed sooner in the series, particularly with his penchant for beautiful but deadly women.

By: Dan Powell

Dan Powell — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 09:05:54 +0000

Like the idea of ‘Double-Oh-Eight.’ Should be a woman.

By: KjM

KjM — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:35:09 +0000

Of course, that should be “kill off” – apologies.

By: KjM

KjM — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 17:34:29 +0000

Beautiful pacing. You led the reader along very smoothly – exactly as your femme fatale did poor James. The execution came as a dramatic surprise. Neatly done.

“When all else fails, kill of your main character.” – words to live by.

By: Craig (Washthebowl)

Craig (Washthebowl) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 23:59:33 +0000

Nice story Chris, I think it might just be worth dying if I could go out like that. Thanks