Comments on: Practice Session

By: admin

admin — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:17:34 +0000

Thanks for all the support everyone. To answer your questions about Levi: He’s good guy with a propensity for violence. I’m touched that some of you would like to read more of the story. My plan is to let it sit untouched for a few months then start editing. I’ve been in their world for several months now and I need a break. It will be a relief to write flash not centered around character and story development.

Thanks again for reading. You don’t know how much it means to me.
~chris

By: Jim Dempsey

Jim Dempsey — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:36:28 +0000

Great characters here, and dialogue. Love the line: Our enemies didn’t play fair then, why the hell would they do it now? Because you pout?

By: Jodi Cleghorn

Jodi Cleghorn — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:59:48 +0000

Chris I am impressed that this is a first pass through, first draft NaNo extract.

And what a brilliant hook. Someone acting in the part of trusted teacher and then giving it to Cara. Nasty stuff- but we all know from the bible Levi was a nasty piece of work (wish my sister had have chosen another name for my nephew)

As others have commented, love the last line with everything turning to red. Awesome hook. I can’t wait to read more. I’ve spent the whole of NaNo wandering around wondering what you’re NaNo looks/reads like. Now I’ve had a chance and I definitely want to read more.

By: Deanna Schrayer

Deanna Schrayer — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:55:06 +0000

Great action Chris! I definitely want to know more too. I was as surprised as Cara at his force. Super job!

By: Eric J. Krause

Eric J. Krause — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:05:51 +0000

Very cool. I have the same questions as everyone else.

By: KjM

KjM — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 05:18:06 +0000

“Then, everything went red…”

Let me guess, Cara (and Levi) found out exactly what she was capable of.

This is a really good glimpse to your NaNo novel. You seem to have all the elements of a good story here: Danger, History of blood between “Guardians” and “Someone/Something really nasty”, Magic, Young person learning who they really are.

I’m signed on. When do I get my ticket for the ride?

By: Susan Cross

Susan Cross — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:29:31 +0000

As I’ve said before, I’m not a sci-fi fan but this got me going and I couldn’t stop. Very well written and engaging. More next week?

By: mazzz_in_Leeds

mazzz_in_Leeds — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 11:27:10 +0000

Yowsers! I want to know whether Levi is a “proper” bad guy too!

By: Deb

Deb — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:38:15 +0000

Love it! I want and need to know more — is he just teaching her a lesson or flat out trying to kill her? If so, that is some tough love right there. Nice work. I can’t wait to read more.

By: Laura Eno

Laura Eno — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:46:34 +0000

Ooh, I’m hooked. I definitely want to read more. Fascinating story!