Comments on: Shot Of The Good Stuff http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/ Official Home Page of Author, Christopher Chartrand Fri, 16 Mar 2012 21:09:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: danpowell http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-328 danpowell Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:52:35 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-328 Love the feel of this. Nice mix of genres. Vampires taking over a town in the old west is a great idea. And Murphy is an interesting character; great ending. Love the feel of this. Nice mix of genres. Vampires taking over a town in the old west is a great idea. And Murphy is an interesting character; great ending.

]]> By: Dana http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-320 Dana Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:45:27 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-320 I quite liked it! I'm glad the sheriff didn't turn out to be just a grumpy jerk. I quite liked it! I’m glad the sheriff didn’t turn out to be just a grumpy jerk.

]]> By: Eric J. Krause http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-315 Eric J. Krause Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:24:28 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-315 Excellent story! I like the mix of old west and vampires. Excellent story! I like the mix of old west and vampires.

]]> By: trev http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-299 trev Sun, 13 Sep 2009 05:24:42 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-299 Nice strip-tease of exposition. Reader gets the sense something isn't quite what it seems, but you keep us on the hook until the end. Nice strip-tease of exposition. Reader gets the sense something isn’t quite what it seems, but you keep us on the hook until the end.

]]> By: J. M. Strother http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-298 J. M. Strother Sat, 12 Sep 2009 20:38:52 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-298 This was great. I really liked how you yanked our chain, first making it look like Murphy was a turn coat, then having him come through at the end. Great little double twist there. I think there was a little confusion as to just what happened when they stepped out on the street. I believe it could be cleared up with just making one little change: They stepped out of the jail house and watched the sun start to dip on the horizon. A shot rang out from above. The sheriff’s head snapped back as if he were laughing at a joke. Murphy left him convulsing in the dust. By saying "A shot rang out from above." (or some other less cliche way to say the same) it becomes immediately apparent that Murphy was not the shooter. I think some readers may have been confused on that point. I also think it would be slightly better to break this into two sentences: “Your cut, Sheriff. You sure you don't... I loved how you tied it all up with the repetition at the end, "Sheriff Murphy surveyed the hard edged patrons..." These people are scumbags. Go Murphy! I also like how you diverge from the standard trope: silver is for werewolves, wooden stake is for vampires. It's your freaking legend, so write it like you want. ~jon This was great. I really liked how you yanked our chain, first making it look like Murphy was a turn coat, then having him come through at the end. Great little double twist there.

I think there was a little confusion as to just what happened when they stepped out on the street. I believe it could be cleared up with just making one little change:

They stepped out of the jail house and watched the sun start to dip on the horizon. A shot rang out from above. The sheriff’s head snapped back as if he were laughing at a joke. Murphy left him convulsing in the dust.

By saying “A shot rang out from above.” (or some other less cliche way to say the same) it becomes immediately apparent that Murphy was not the shooter. I think some readers may have been confused on that point.

I also think it would be slightly better to break this into two sentences:

“Your cut, Sheriff. You sure you don’t…

I loved how you tied it all up with the repetition at the end, “Sheriff Murphy surveyed the hard edged patrons…” These people are scumbags. Go Murphy!

I also like how you diverge from the standard trope: silver is for werewolves, wooden stake is for vampires. It’s your freaking legend, so write it like you want.
~jon

]]> By: Jeff Posey http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-296 Jeff Posey Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:25:34 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-296 Now that's an interesting mix of genres. It's enthralling. That sheriff sure did play it dumb, though, didn't he? Trusting the deputy and all. He should've known better. But at least they'll still be able to get shots of the good stuff on Sundays. Can't say as I blame them. Enjoyed the read, Chris. Keep it up. Jeff Posey Now that’s an interesting mix of genres. It’s enthralling. That sheriff sure did play it dumb, though, didn’t he? Trusting the deputy and all. He should’ve known better. But at least they’ll still be able to get shots of the good stuff on Sundays. Can’t say as I blame them.

Enjoyed the read, Chris. Keep it up.

Jeff Posey

]]> By: Kylie http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-295 Kylie Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:10:31 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-295 I loved the evolution of this piece, how through the hints you dropped the reader can see the larger plot growing. Very clever use of the Old West setting and classic vampire - it's nice to see them in different places then high schools these days! I loved the evolution of this piece, how through the hints you dropped the reader can see the larger plot growing. Very clever use of the Old West setting and classic vampire – it’s nice to see them in different places then high schools these days!

]]> By: Stephen http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-294 Stephen Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:34:00 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-294 As perfect as a good shot of blended Scotch. Nice mix of two genres, Chris. As perfect as a good shot of blended Scotch. Nice mix of two genres, Chris.

]]> By: Craig Daniels http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-293 Craig Daniels Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:18:38 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-293 I loved it, and the line "He hated every last one of them" is my kind of character.. Chris your writing is always enjoyable, nice work. I loved it, and the line “He hated every last one of them” is my kind of character.. Chris your writing is always enjoyable, nice work.

]]> By: Leigh Barlow http://thedarkeagle.com/shot-of-the-good-stuff/comment-page-1/#comment-292 Leigh Barlow Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:01:27 +0000 http://thedarkeagle.com/?p=82#comment-292 Loved the ending and it was well written. The speech patterns seemed just right. Loved the ending and it was well written. The speech patterns seemed just right.

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