I run. The hounds are coming. I can hear them. Hunting. Their feet churn the ground. Nostrils flared to catch my scent. Baying, they come. Snarling, gnashing and blood thirsty, they come.
I flee. And yet they come. I’ve done no wrong. Panic. Why do they chase when all I want is to flee. I’ve done no wrong. Taken no babes. Tasted no blood and yet they come. They have no cause. They have their hate.
I hide. Burying myself underground. I smell the earth. Heady. It smothers me. Damp and oppressive. It shields me from them. Heavy, it envelops me. Gritty, pungent and elemental, it envelops me.
They hunt. I hear them now. Men on horses. Shouting. Their weapons sharp and ready. Ready to strike me dead. Stopped above me. Confused, focused and looking to the hounds for help, and still they come. They know to dig.
They find me. They pull me up. Hold me down. Celebrating. The hounds rip and tear at my flesh. They laugh. I scream. Weapons unsheathed. They look to one another for support. They find me; Weak.
I fight. Roar in primal rage. The price they pay for their hate. Destroyer! I rip the hounds apart. Clawing, I smell the blood. They know not what they have done. I care not what I’ve become. Continued existence my only thought. The men scream. They fall one by one by my feat. I feel their blood flow around my teeth. It’s done.
I run. Run in the night. I run for my life; run for theirs.
Awesome story. I LOVE LOVE LOVE short sentence stories. The action is nonstop and it creates such a vivid imagery of actually fleeing.
Love it! Your short sentences/fragments really amp the tension. Very effective.
This soooo reminds me of Radiohead’s BODYSNATCHERS. A must listen.
Peace, Linda
Great story! If they’d only left him alone… Superb non-stop action.
Got the heart pumping this a.m.!
Great!
I love the turnaround. Well done.
What the heck was he? [shudder] nicely done!
Karen :0)
oo, the choppy sentences really worked here to keep up the pace. Nicely done. At first, I thought he was a fox, but now I’m thinking some kind of supernatural creature? Creepified. Is that a word? lol
Really like the beat of this, felt very in with the action and to echo Karrens comment [shudder]!
Man, this is one dude we should just plain leave alone. Persecuting him makes him stronger. Good piece, Chris.
Jeff Posey
Nice job! You had fun with this, huh? Great use of the staccato sentence structure.
Nice! The way you write really evokes the feel of a chase, quick, sharp moves and frantic thoughts. I like it!
Excellent sense of desperation with the short sentences. The last sentence is awesome.
yesyesyesYES. You did not disappoint me! This was a sweet sweet work of art.
Oh, this was very interesting! Sounded like a sort of English hunt gone very, very awry. Nice work!
Oh, I HATE when that happens. I guess we shouldn’t have felt too sorry for the creature.
Tense piece. The last line really drives home his need to run to save their lives as much as his own. A sympathetic look into what drives a ‘monster.’
scary. tense and cool.
The variety of responses is intriguing. It also looks like a portrait of any wild and fearsome animal – a wolf, a bear, a tiger. There’s no morality in the violence. I enjoyed it a lot.
Good piece of flash, Chris, as always. The short sentences worked very well. The repetition in the first two paragraphs also adds to it nicely, though it’s good you dropped the technique after that. You got it just right. I also love the fact that you don’t tell us what he is. Excellent.
~jon
I was wondering at first if it was a fox hunt told from the fox’s point of view. Obviously not. Much more dangerous than that. Great story!
Oh Wow! It moved so fast, and it was so vivid… I was having trouble catching breath.
Awesome story. I am such a fan,
~2
I too loved the short sentences, very pacy and tense!
Loved the last paragraph.
One minor point – “They fall one by one by my feat.” <– should be "feet", surely?
I love the rhythm of this. Awesome.
Also, I thought at first this was a horror story, maybe a guy caught out by werewolves or something. Then thought the prey was a rabbit. Then the prey turned into I-dont-know-what. Love it.
A great passage with just enough details!