Through a series of well practiced stealthy glances he was able to tell she was young, probably in her early 20’s. Her long red hair framed her face magnificently. Glossy red lipstick contrasted sensuously with her alabaster skin and accentuated a spattering of alluring freckles across the bridge of her nose. She glanced at her ticket stub as she navigated the aisle and checked it against the numbers on the back of each chair.
“Please God, please God, please God,” James thought as she made her way toward the empty seat next to him.
Apparently he had done something particularly pleasing in the eyes of the divine entity because the goddess in the low-cut emerald dress sat next to him. He glanced shyly and managed to croak out a hello. She responded in kind then bashfully looked in the other direction.
“I haven’t seen you here before,” said James. He felt like such a hack but decided to press on anyway. “First time at the Opera?”
“Je ne parle pas anglais,” She said. “Vous parlez français?”
James smiled coyly and shook his head no. The lights flashed to signal the audience to be quiet. As the lights dimmed he noticed the slit of her dress had shifted slightly to reveal the lacy top of her nylons.
James decided to try an experiment. He nonchalantly opened his legs so his knee would make minimal contact with hers. She didn’t protest by moving her knee away from his. He let his knee rest against hers for several minutes then casually moved his hand up. Again patience was required so it was another few minutes before he pressed the palm of his hand against her knee. This time she instinctively moved against the pressure. To his delight however, she gently returned her knee to its original position. The warmth of her skin grew hot as he began to ever so slowly caress her knee.
James moved his hand to the inside of her leg and began to trace up toward her groin. He felt the lace of her stockings before she slammed her legs shut. She pushed his hand back toward her knee and left it there. James cursed himself for rushing it. Operas lasted a long time. There was no reason to bull ahead and wreck it. A short time later he was again savoring the soft feel of the lace that decorated the top of her stocking. After a while he let his pinky drift above her stocking onto her bare thigh. Her skin was so smooth. His world suddenly consisted of this nameless beauty and her amazing legs. His ring finger glided its way to her thigh as well. Not wanting to destroy this perfect moment he chose to move his entire hand back toward her knee voluntarily.
James smiled to himself as she placed her hand on his and slid it slowly over her stocking and completely onto her thigh. His heart raced as the music ebbed and flowed in time with his fingers as they thrummed up and down her creamy skin. She kept her hand over his and helped guide it across the short distance to her lace panties. She pushed down hard against his hand as he made first contact with the edge of her lingerie.
He glanced over and saw her eyes shut tight, her lips slightly parted and her chest heaving noticeably. James faced the stage and closed his eyes too. He Let himself be swept away in the moment. His blood raced to his groin in anticipation. It was during this time of bliss that she slammed the edge of her free hand against his wind pipe and crushed his larynx. Then, as he struggled to breathe, she produced a dagger from within her purse and stabbed him in the heart. James heard screaming from behind. The performance staggered to a halt and the lights came up. She leaned her face in close to his ear and let her hot breath wash over his skin as she caressed his face with her long red nails.
“Au revoir Monsieur Bond,” she said breathily. “I’t vas a pleasure killing you. I hope Monsieur Double-Oh-Eight is more of a challenge.”
Author’s Note: OK, first off, I know this is technically fan-fiction, but I challenge you to name another famous international spy with a proclivity to hit on sexy women at inopportune times. Actually this week’s prompt from Write Anything put me in mind of an erotic piece I read at a time in my life when I was way to young to read such things. So this week I decided to try my hand at erotic fiction. The problem I had was the story had no ending for me that wasn’t hacky. So in a fit of desperation I fell back on one of my old stand by solutions (which in retrospect is pretty hacky) and ended it in a murder. I hope you dug it anyway.
I like that the Bond stops here. I also think the irony of being killed while he’s all distracted by the lady is great.
Thanks for sharing this!
The pacing was great! You lulled me into thinking of other ways to go with the piece, so the murder took me by surprise. 🙂
The story held my attention but I was disappointed by the ending, in the respect that 007 would never have admitted to “feeling like a hack” and praying that a beautiful woman sit next to him. A 007-wannabe would have fit the bill.
I was thinking wow this guy is seriously bold. Then I was thinking geez she is too! Then BAM! She kills him. It was so unexpected it made me laugh. I think it was tension release! Great job!
I dug it, definitely dug it. You built up the erotic mood excellently, and the surprise came as suddenly and shockingly to me as it did for James. I’m wondering if it wouldn’t work better if it wasn’t James Bond though? I’m kinda with Tina on that. But a fantastically well-written story all the same.
Suddenly now I am absolutely certain this is how 007 will go out, when he’s pretty much a silly old geezer and age has finally slowed him down and dulled his wits. Of course he’ll still think he’s a great stud.
Nice story Chris, I think it might just be worth dying if I could go out like that. Thanks
Beautiful pacing. You led the reader along very smoothly – exactly as your femme fatale did poor James. The execution came as a dramatic surprise. Neatly done.
“When all else fails, kill of your main character.” – words to live by. 🙂
Of course, that should be “kill off” – apologies.
Like the idea of ‘Double-Oh-Eight.’ Should be a woman. 🙂
I always wondered why Bond hadn’t gotten killed sooner in the series, particularly with his penchant for beautiful but deadly women.
I wasn’t really certain where this was going, but I think you did a great job with it.
My mind was playing out all sorts of senarios. I had my fingers crossed that this was some type of serial killer (I mean how many guys go to the opera alone?), and then I was hoping that the girl was a transvestite (Awkward).
Overall, I think your ending was perfect 😉
Great story!
~2
I was totally into this piece, Chris. Like others, I was thinking: What a strange and bold move. Then, you slammed home the killing and put the right touch on the ending. Well done.
Loved it. Did not see the demise of 007 coming at all. I figured the old lech was going to die of a heart attack. The end was a very enjoyable surprise. As others said, the tension and pacing were executed wonderfully.
~jon
A well written piece using all of the senses to carry the reader easily through the prose. Your twists were excellently ‘executed’ and your pacing kept the reader interested and keen to continue.
I am going to be a stick in the mud here and say the last line literally killed it for me. Although I personally liked the idea of the beautiful woman taking revenge on a sleeze and the twist then to find that she was an agent on a hit of another agent; I think you cheapened your piece by naming him as a recognizable character. Moreover James Bond has some very staunch followers and if you are going to go down the line of fan-fiction – especially with well established characters such as Mr Bond, then some homework needs to be done. James Bond speaks a variety of languages fluently – including German, French, Japanese and Danish and although your line about him shaking his head and saying he didn’t speak French may have been a disengaging technique, the line beforehand was in congruent with James’s inner thoughts ( he thinking he was a hack – which is something that Mr Bond would never utter)
You can agree to disagree with me – but I think you’d have a stronger piece by leaving the 007 reference out.
I am utilizing FF to experiment with genres and styles with writing. This week I visit the world of Dr Suess and realised quickly why no-one else is able to emulate his wit and charm through prose. http://annieevett.blogspot.com/2009/08/lillylollylous-operatic-moment.html
Thank you all for you wonderful comments. I honestly didn’t expect as much positive feed back as was received. I totally agree with Tina and Annie in that I should have left James Bond out of it, but in the spirit of writeanything.com ‘s challenge I decided not to edit and post it as originally written. Annie I would like to thank you for practicing what you preach in your great article Giving Constructive Criticism. It’s hard to criticize someone’s work without coming across wrong and I appreciate that.