Stupid Spam (my favorite luncheon meat)

Spammers suck. I chose those two words to open with, because now I’ll get tons of spam written by spammers trying to pass themselves off as persons who agree with me. To date my anti-spam filter has intercepted 995 spam comments to To celebrate, I’ve decided to respond to some of the more creative and ridiculous comments I have received.

Laundry basket guide in response to:  “The Carver’s Daughter”
…Really cool! I assist your view!…

Chris: Yes, and you also assist my daily chores.

SAMSUNG Widescreen LCD HDTV in response to:  “Life’s A Game”
Ohio, what a good evil plan to get followers. And I like it

Chris: Mississippi, glad you like it. What plan?

Kipu Mo in response to:  “Brain Helmet 2000”
Great tips, these are useful and this site rocks especially for beginners like myself…

Chris: Hey, no problem. Anytime you need more tips on how to defend yourself from zombies using protective helmets coated in imitation brain matter. Let me know. I’m full of ideas.

nisim international in response to:  “Hello Jones”
Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my hair removal service blog?

Chris: Sure, you can take the part where the bullies punch Boris in the stomach. I can see how that would help you remove unwanted hair.

motorcycle accessories in response to:  “Last Aria”
Sorry…I wanted to make a comment a while ago. I believe that it is reasonable. Keep up the fantastic work. I’ll be back soon

Chris: That’s OK Motorcycle Accessories. I think wanting to make a comment awhile ago is very reasonable. Please don’t worry. I’ll keep up the fantastic work and wait for your return.

Adrienne Coldiron in response to:  “Ranger Six”
hehe ok so this is just how stupid I am, halfway through reading through your post I accidentally dropped my mouse and shut down the internet explorer in error and I could not locate your website again until 6 days later to finish reading through from the point i stopped at because I forgot how I linked here to begin with lol anyway it was worth the delay..many thanks

Chris: hehe ok so this is just how stupid I am, halfway through reading this spam comment I accidentally dropped my mouse and shut down the power to half the known world in error and I could not locate the power grid again until 6 days later to restore power and finish reading you spam from the point I stopped because I forgot how stupid you are and was also out of mouthwash so had to go to the pharmacy to get some more lol anyway it was worth forgetting punctuation..many welcomes.

Lazy susan guide in response to:  “-Splat- (it’s not what you think)”
I believed that was extremeley interesting. Thank you to the unusual details. I’ll retain pursuing this….

Chris: I used to think things were extremeley interesting too. Then I remembered there is no such word as extremeley. I’ll let the unusual details know you said thank you. They’ll be pleased you mentioned them. I have a feeling you’ll be retaining pursuing this for a while. Sort of like how you retain water. I believed I was interested in lazy-susans, but the doctors helped me.


I hope you got a kick out of some of these. Let me know and I’ll post some more. What are some of the spam comments you’ve received on your blogs?

10 thoughts on “Stupid Spam (my favorite luncheon meat)

  1. hahahaha. You have great spam. I hope you will be retaining pursuing this for a while…. hahaha.

    I used to get lot of spam when I hosted my own site, but since I switched it over to google… I don’t.

    I kind of miss it :-/

    Fun post, sir! I hope to see more (you can retain…pursue…whatever)!

  2. hehe how funny. I don’t get much spam on my blog that I host on my site, but I do get some. However, it’s mostly gobblygook. Yup, I used a fake word there. lol

  3. I think it’s great that my spam filter often catches: ‘great article, very interesting point of view’ since my site is a story blog. I love to say out loud: ‘It’s all fiction dummy!’ before I delete it.

  4. Oh my goodeness me… I haven’t had such a good chuckle in a long long time.

    Most of my spam doesn’t even warrant a good piss-take I have to say. My old blog gets bombarded and I should turn comments off – but am such a lazy such-and-such.

    Though I will wander back through the spam archives to see if I can find a good one.

    My favourite is how the are so desperate to pass themselves off as legit and in doing so mis-spell and mis-use big or impressive words. DEAD give away.

    Thank you for this Chris… just what I needed to kick off my day.

  5. I don’t get spam either. I’m conflicted. I feel special and isolated. Perhaps we should spam each other, Cathy.

    Great post, Chris, had me spluttering my morning tea.

  6. haha, brilliant! I always get the ones that go “Niksith say:…” followed by some non sequitur

    Not on my blog, but my favourite spam email to date has to be the invoice for a 3 foot tall marble statue of a penis. Had it not been for the $2000 price tag, I would nearly have been tempted

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