Stupid Spam (my favorite luncheon meat)

Spammers suck. I chose those two words to open with, because now I’ll get tons of spam written by spammers trying to pass themselves off as persons who agree with me. To date my anti-spam filter has intercepted 995 spam comments to To celebrate, I’ve decided to respond to some of the more creative and ridiculous comments I have received.

Laundry basket guide in response to:  “The Carver’s Daughter”
…Really cool! I assist your view!…

Chris: Yes, and you also assist my daily chores.

SAMSUNG Widescreen LCD HDTV in response to:  “Life’s A Game”
Ohio, what a good evil plan to get followers. And I like it

Chris: Mississippi, glad you like it. What plan?

Kipu Mo in response to:  “Brain Helmet 2000”
Great tips, these are useful and this site rocks especially for beginners like myself…

Chris: Hey, no problem. Anytime you need more tips on how to defend yourself from zombies using protective helmets coated in imitation brain matter. Let me know. I’m full of ideas.

nisim international in response to:  “Hello Jones”
Wow! Thank you! I always wanted to write in my site something like that. Can I take part of your post to my hair removal service blog?

Chris: Sure, you can take the part where the bullies punch Boris in the stomach. I can see how that would help you remove unwanted hair.

motorcycle accessories in response to:  “Last Aria”
Sorry…I wanted to make a comment a while ago. I believe that it is reasonable. Keep up the fantastic work. I’ll be back soon

Chris: That’s OK Motorcycle Accessories. I think wanting to make a comment awhile ago is very reasonable. Please don’t worry. I’ll keep up the fantastic work and wait for your return.

Adrienne Coldiron in response to:  “Ranger Six”
hehe ok so this is just how stupid I am, halfway through reading through your post I accidentally dropped my mouse and shut down the internet explorer in error and I could not locate your website again until 6 days later to finish reading through from the point i stopped at because I forgot how I linked here to begin with lol anyway it was worth the delay..many thanks

Chris: hehe ok so this is just how stupid I am, halfway through reading this spam comment I accidentally dropped my mouse and shut down the power to half the known world in error and I could not locate the power grid again until 6 days later to restore power and finish reading you spam from the point I stopped because I forgot how stupid you are and was also out of mouthwash so had to go to the pharmacy to get some more lol anyway it was worth forgetting punctuation..many welcomes.

Lazy susan guide in response to:  “-Splat- (it’s not what you think)”
I believed that was extremeley interesting. Thank you to the unusual details. I’ll retain pursuing this….

Chris: I used to think things were extremeley interesting too. Then I remembered there is no such word as extremeley. I’ll let the unusual details know you said thank you. They’ll be pleased you mentioned them. I have a feeling you’ll be retaining pursuing this for a while. Sort of like how you retain water. I believed I was interested in lazy-susans, but the doctors helped me.


I hope you got a kick out of some of these. Let me know and I’ll post some more. What are some of the spam comments you’ve received on your blogs?

Hint Fiction

I’m a big fan of Flash Fiction. I read a lot of it and write some myself. I recently came across a contest currently hosted by Robert Swartwood. The contest centers on “Hint Fiction”. An intriguing concept; Can a story of 25 words or less invoke an emotional response or have enough of an arc to be considered a story? Probably not, but that’s why there is the qualifier “hint” before the word “fiction”.

Robert does a nice job explaining Hint Fiction and the contest seems like fun. I find the 25 word story to be a pretty neat idea. Anyone who is even remotely interested in flash fiction knows of Hemingway famous piece of flash fiction: “Baby Shoes”. If not here it is

For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.

Poignant isn’t it. What does this piece “hint” at? Oh, the poor parents. What happened to the baby? Was it a miscarriage, still birth, SIDS, or something more sinister? Or, what if the parents received nothing but baby shoes as gifts and simply had a surplus of miniature penny-loafers. Or what if they simply never got around to putting that particular pair of shoes on their kid’s pudgy little feet. If I had penned this now famous bit of prose I would have taken more advantage of my 25 word allotment and ended up with this:

For Sale: baby shoes, never worn. See Mr. and Mrs. Bunyan for details.

Now it’s a story of a kid with freakishly large feet, but it still “hints” to a more complex story. How did his mother give birth to him, what is the back story, did they attend a swingers party with John Henry?

Perhaps that’s why everyone knows the name Hemingway and precious few know the name Chartrand. Oh well I still like mine better. In any case I will be submitting my entries to the anthology contest. I encourage you to try your hand at “Hint Fiction” too and submit your entries. Who knows, it may make you famous.