That’s Ok Willy

The two man hunting party made its way through the woods guided by the silver light of the full moon.

“Shh, did you hear that?” said Willy in between gasps of breath. His senses were on high alert. Memories of sitting on his sofa and enjoying delivered pizza floated through his mind as he ventured forth on his first excursion outside the relative safety of the camp’s high fencing.

“No, lets go,” replied Wally, the camps most skilled hunter.

“Shh,” Willy labored to catch his breath. “It’s dangerous enough out here at night; you don’t need to be broadcasting our location to everything within earshot.”

“You’ve been complaining all night. We’re perfectly safe. You’re just looking for an excuse to catch your breath.”

“Well why on earth did you insist I wear these shoes? I feel like a fool with these things on. And their so heavy, I can hardly keep up.”

“They’re special hunting shoes. They help you walk quietly in the woods.”

“That sounds made up.”

“They spread out your weight, thus muffling your footsteps.”

“Ah. Why aren’t you wearing them?”

“Because I already know how to walk quietly.”

“Oh. Why did you insist on me hunting with you tonight?”

“Good Lord man you ask a lot of questions. I asked you to come tonight as my way of saying I forgive you for sleeping with Monica.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re evolved enough to let that go. Most other men in the camp would have challenged me to combat or something.”

“She’s just a woman Willy. There aren’t enough of us left to let the old customs get between us.”

“Exactly, my point, Wally. If we’re to have any hope of reviving the human race we need to be as prolific as possible. Gone are the days where jealousy and monogamy have any meaning.”

“Well, I hope when the others see we’ve hunted together it will help them to understand. Now, let’s get moving,” said Wally taking the lead and motioning for Willy to follow.

“I have to admit,” whispered Wally. “I thought you were more…”


“Yes. It seems I’ve judged the proverbial book by its cover.”

“It’s going to be dawn soon, if we’re gonna bring back food for the camp you are going to have to be quiet.”

The two continued deeper into the woods, quiet except for Willy’s heavy breathing as he struggled to keep pace with his new friend. Several bodies appeared before them, silhouetted against the moonlight. Wally froze and threw himself to the ground. “Get down!” he hissed.

“Wally, Is that…”

“Get down,” repeated Wally pulling him to the ground.

“Did they see us?”

“You hear them coming after us?”

“Thank God for that. You think we can sneak away? Good thing about the shoes eh?”

“Yeah, Good thing.”

Wally stood up, slung the rifle over his shoulder, inhaled deeply and looked down at the fat, terror stricken cretin who slept with his wife. “Hey! Come get us you bastards!”

“What? What are you doing?”

Willy scrambled to pick himself up off the forest ground spurred on by the sound of the approaching others. Wally kicked him in the stomach then turned to leave.

“Bye Willy. I’m sure Monica will be devastated.”